Home Fake News Parent Tax on Halloween Candy to Be Record High This Year

Parent Tax on Halloween Candy to Be Record High This Year


CIRCLEVILLE – Halloween is a happy time for children, filling their bags with the colorful sugar concoctions, but this halloween may be a little less happy, as a high projected, “parent tax” on candy is expected to be a little higher than usual.

According to Alex and Hillary, local Circleville parents the tax is, “because of inflation and higher gasoline prices, I guess.”

Experts say 2019 inflation of sugar could be to blame for the inflation, but President Trump may release a Presidential order before Halloween to help deflate those costs.

If you compare the chart below little Billy says hes already taxed to death with having to give candy to several others including his kid brother.

2018 Government stats

“Dad always gets the good stuff like Reeces and Snickers, said Billy, “It’s not fair I do all the work and he says this is how life works when you are an adult. I don’t want to grow up if that’s true!”

Expert Paul Michaels, did mention a significant decrease in 2017 due to inexpensive candy like tootsie rolls, candy corn, good and plenty, and bottle caps. Now that conditions are improved and Dad takes Billy to the “higher end of town” we are seeing event full sized candy bars.

“Basically, the problem boils down to, theres just too much good candy,” said Michaels, “Candy tax was measured once as pieces now handfuls are the norm.”

Dad says that Halloween is for children for sure but, “too much of a good thing is bad for kids, and taking a little of the top will keep them safe and out of the dentist chair.

“Im a problem solver basically, large amounts of candy are not good and unhealthy and they would eat too much, so eating a ridiculous amount on Halloween eve is a sacrifice I have to do being a dad. Not all hero’s wear capes I suppose.”