Home News CODGERTATIONS: Sky Pilot



Tom Harker

Are you familiar with Pat Robertson? He’s what my Dad used to call a “sky pilot”: i.e., if you get on his plane, he’ll fly you to the Pearly Gate. He talks regularly with God – or he says he does; but he never records the discussion or takes a selfie with the Almighty. He’ll sell you a magic milkshake that makes you strong; Pat says it enables him to leg press 2,000 lbs. (a weight greater than the present world record – hence the need for magic). Pat has also used his close relationship with the deity to change the course of a hurricane (see this YouTube link).

He claims to have prayed Hurricane Gloria away from his headquarters and TV tower in Tidewater, Virginia. The hurricane DID swerve away from Pat, but slammed into a lot of other folks. I always figured that since Robertson claimed responsibility for redirecting the storm he should be held financially liable for the damage done to his neighbors. Maybe it’s not too late to take him to court.

Similarly, why isn’t he on his knees 24/7 saving Americans from tornadoes, floods, droughts, fires, and earthquakes? Maybe he’d claim he’s too busy fighting the ACLU, the Federal Court system, “the abortionists,” the Pagans, the Gays, the Lesbians, and the People for the American Way (those he and Jerry Falwell believed helped cause the 9/11 attacks – see this YouTube link).

I don’t know about you, but I wonder who Robertson is blaming for all the recent tornadoes, floods, droughts, fires, and earthquakes. Most of them are happening in Red states where good folks don’t cotton to the ACLU, the Federal Court system, “the abortionists,” the Pagans, the Gays, the Lesbians, and the People for the American Way. It reminds me of an old joke.

A terrible flood of Biblical proportions rampaged through a section of the upper Mississippi wreaking havoc and destroying broad swaths of property. Immediately, ministers blamed unrepentant sinners for causing God’s wrath. They ceased preaching, however, when it was discovered that the most serious damage was suffered by the churches – which were located in the flood plain – while the bars and brothels up on the hillside were untouched.

Robertson’s latest blather – stimulated by the various, recent bathroom laws – is that Christianity is under attack. He tells a CSN reporter: “It’s the constant driving of the agenda of anti-Christian bias. We’re going to destroy any semblance of the Christian morality that exists in our country, and our government is going to be at the forefront of it . . . That’s what you’re looking at. It’s one more attempt by the so-called progressives to destroy the Judeo-Christian fabric of America.”

Well, I’m sorry Pat, but we live in a Free Country where we have freedom of religion. You think “Religious Liberty” means Christians can impose their views on everyone else. They can refuse to serve gays; they can refuse to cover employees’ birth control health cost; they can outlaw gay marriage; they can outlaw abortion – all in the name of their view of the Christian religion and their freedom to practice it.

Well, Pat, no one is forcing Christians to be gay or marry someone of the same gender or use birth control or get an abortion or open a business that serves the public. Nobody is required to do any of that. In a free country a person can follow his freely chosen religious teachings. He cannot, however, force his religious views on others.

As for destroying the Judeo-Christian fabric of America, while there are over 2,000 different religious groups in our country, 83% of Americans identify as Christians. It doesn’t look like Christianity is on its last legs.

If it ever gets to that point, don’t worry. Pat can always pass around his magical, leg-strengthening milkshake.

This article originally appeared on The Pickaway News Journal